


Silent But Deadly

by Wordsdear



Category: Gintama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 02:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21438946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordsdear/pseuds/Wordsdear
Summary: Sakamoto isn't good at keeping quiet and Gintoki has had enough
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Silent But Deadly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [printfogey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/printfogey/gifts).

> Printfogey made a prompt for Sakamoto involving silence. It was supposed to be 300 words but my fingers slipped. Also it is Sakamoto's birthday so sue me

“One shoe AHA HA. Two shoes AHAHA three shoes AHAHA four shoes AHAHA five shoes AHAHA”  
Gin groaned, all the laughter was giving him a headache. He glanced over at Sakamoto, who was seated cross legged amongst the dead bodies counting the spoils of war. It wasn’t much, two guns, five boots and a few coins. Money didn’t mean much anymore with the surrender of the shogunate, it was all about the goods. That was why they had the loud asshole after all.

“Don’t you ever shut up?”

“Nope! We have an odd amount of boots which means some poor amanto lost his shoes before he could meet your sword or someone here is squirreling away shoes!” Sakamoto beamed at him. Let a man hoard boots in peace damn it, it wasn’t any of their business. But Sakamto kept smiling at him as if expecting him to cough up a shoe. A smile like that had no place on a battlefield. Big and beaming but with those watchful eyes on top. Made his skin itch.

““I could always kick the odd boot out up your ass, if it will get you to shut up for five seconds.”

The tall man peered at him from the ground. “If we are going to make a deal, it has to be a proper one Kintoki. How about if I can keep quiet you give me your stash of free GariGariKun sticks ”

“Who told you!” He already knew it was Zura so he gave the man no time to answer “What do I get if I win?”

Sakamoto just grinned at him, this time it had a bit of an edge to it. A challenge. There wasn’t much entertainment on the battlefield after all. Gintoki circled around the seated man, “Oh ho ho so you think you can beat Ol’ Gin-chan huh? If you can keep quiet for a whole minute you can take whatever you like. But if I win, you owe me a ride on the spaceship you are always daydreaming about”

Sakamoto’s eyes wided a bit but he managed to keep his mouth shut. So Gintoki persevered.

“Once this is all over I mean. Just a quick trip” 

This war was never going to end, ether they find Sensei or he died trying. He wasn’t going to be around to cash in on the popsicles anyways. Maybe Sakamoto would shut up if he got brain freeze. But just as he silently admitted defeat, he couldn't help but wrinkle his nose. Instead of the usual blood he smelt eggs. Rotten eggs. Slowly he turned to look at Sakamoto. Who didn't even have the dignity to look embarrassed, instead he had laid down on the bloody grass laughing his head off. The fart may of been silent but the man was not

“Hey laughing still counts as a sound damn it!”

“AH HA HA HA fine! One star flight for Kintoki!”

Gintoki stared up into the starry sky and wondered if he ever could leave. He had nothing left but a promise to a probably dead man. Until he was free the stars could wait. He shook his head and kicked at the farting merchant “Should of just asked you to forgive my debt” 

“AH HA HA this was a one time deal you are locked in for life Kintoki”

“Space huh. Do farts still stink up there?”

Sakamoto placed his hand to his chin humming to himself as if it was a serious question. “I’ll test it out for you and let you know”

Gintoki smiled despite himself “Rip a good one up there just for me”

**Author's Note:**

> You can't hear farts in space but you can smell them


End file.
